So it’s not New Years yet. It’s still actually christmas. But I feel the need to look back already. And you guys don’t have to read it if you don’t want to.
this was thanks to some app on facebook that picks a random few of your facebook statuses from the whole year and makes them into a pretty little picture. I decided to make it let me choose a few of my own to add into it and so I’m sitting there looking through January, February, (skipped facebook during lent), April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December of 2009. And I’m realizing how much I’ve gone through, how much I feel like I’ve changed, how much has really happened this year.
So much more than other years.
January. I started liking someone the most I’ve ever liked someone since 6th grade, which would last until almost the end of the school year (not like anything actually was successfu, but I got over it fine anyways.) Also expansion in music knowledge/taste.
Then February. I guess it wasn’t that eventful, but I got a flu-thing that lasted all of 1.5 days during ski week break, music taste progressed more, etc. Started really wanting to learn guitar.
Then lent happened which was kind of fuzzy because I wasn’t on facebook. Lent was good last year. I guess it was kind of a thoughtful time for me, even though I dont’ remember what I was ever thoughtful about.
Then.. April. Facebook back, Spring break I got my wisdom teeth out. More memories of that one person. By the time I got to looking over this month, I realized how often I updated my status then versus now. So much more back then. .. I was such a freshman.. And still saw more broadening in knowledge of music artists I now still love to death.
May. Still pretty similar to the other months. More obsessions with putting the music I liked into statuses, and other random things that made me realize that if it was a couple months later and I had already been moving on to the person I liked after that, it totally would have actually happened. I’m so sure. I was different back then. Louder, maybe just more a little bit open. Just so much more similar to the person who would later like me that I didn’t like yet.
June. Still more open than I usually know myself as, but seeing changes I think. Just a bit more thoughtful, saying things in my status I’d actually say now. I just keep seeing all these lyrics to songs that were new to me then. What they meant to me then as opposed to now. They bring back good and bad memories now.
And I wish some things could have just stayed the same.
And I wish some things could have just not happened to save me so much emotional exhaustion.
I used to use smileys more liberally too. happy and sad ones. Now not as much. I think.
Ugh. Just so many more memories that I look back on and I don’t even know what to think, I just know what I thought then and that it’s all kind of a mess now. Ugh.
July. Same stuff as above. And then tour prep. That’s when another change started to start. But still other memories I look back on like, for this whole thing. What happened? Why? I was starting to become conflicted. Starting to make a mess of it.
andd just found a status with the lyrics of the song I was listening to just now. and was going to make my status. huh. continuing on..
It was all so different back then.
I don’t wanna finish July. Tour happened. Then began the beginning of the confusion. In summary I had a situation with said person from before who liked me more than I liked them, but I also started liking someone else on tour wasn’t sure about it because of above-mentioned outside situation.
August. Got back from tour happy. Tour was good. Had a break from everything else for a while with Claire. (that was fun.) Then got back, hoping I was ready to figure stuff out. (Code: aforesaid situation=#1, the other one=#2) School started, I wanted to see how things were going with 1. I learned once and for all I didn’t like him anymore, but only after I thought I still really liked him. But after that I wanted to just have to deal with 2. 1 ended up surprise asking me to homecoming.
(That was just september through early november. ) Problems and fighting ensued with 1. (It was kind of on tumblr so if you saw it…) who hates me now. Now going out with 2 who never really was caught up with what went on with 1. which I think is good.
December.. Now. More of an introvert, I guess. I look back at all of what happened before, I’m still kind of confused, but now I’ll remember 2009.
I confess that in 2009 I… ( ) stayed single for the whole year ( ) made out in/on a car ( ) kissed in the snow (x) celebrated Halloween ( ) kissed in the rain ( ) had your heart broken ( ) had a stalker ( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone (x) had a good relationship with someone ( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation ( ) gotten pregnant ( ) had an abortion (x) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget (x) done something you’ve regretted (x) lost faith in love ( ) kissed under a mistletoe
SCHOOL (x) took an honors/advanced class ( ) broke the dress code ( ) sent to the principles office for misbehavior ( ) got straight A’s (x) met one teacher you really like (x) met one teacher you really hated ( ) failed a class ( ) skipped school (x) did something you were proud of (x) discovered a new talent (x) proved yourself an idiot (x) embarrassed yourself in front of the class ( ) fell in love with a teacher ( ) intentionally tripped someone at school ( ) made a varsity team (x) were involved in something you’ll never forget
OTHER ( ) painted a picture (x) wrote a poem (x) ran a mile ( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch (x) posted a blog (x) listened to music you couldn’t stand (x) went to a sleepover (x) went camping ( ) threw a surprise party (x) laughed till you cried ( ) laughed till you peed in your pants ( ) visited a foreign country ( ) cut in a line of waiting people (x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t (x) partied to celebrate the new year ( ) cooked a disastrous meal (x) lost something/someone important to you
In 2009 I… ( ) broke a promise (x) lied ( ) went behind your parents back ( ) cried over a broken heart (x) disappointed someone close (x) hid a secret (x) pretended to be happy ( ) slept under the stars ( ) kept your new years resolution (x) forgot your new years resolution (x) met someone who changed your life ( ) met one of your idols (x) changed your outlook on life (x) sat home all day doing nothing ( ) pretended to be sick (x) left the country ( ) almost died ( ) given up something important to you ( ) lost something expensive (x) learned something new about yourself (x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it (x) made a change in your life (x) found out who your true friends were (x) met great people (x) stayed up til sunrise (x) cried over the silliest thing ( ) was never home on weekends ( ) got into a car accident (x) had friends who were drifting away from you ( ) had someone close to you die ( ) had a high cell phone bill ( ) spent most of your money on food ( ) had a fist fight (x) went to the beach with your best friend (x) saw a celebrity (x) gotten sick ( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time (x) became closer with a lot of people
spent from about midnight to 3 AM talking, then slept in till about 11:15 AM.
Then went and worked on Glendale float for the rose parade. (I worlked on the log part below the eagle on camera side. WATCH FOR ITTT:)
Then did something else which I forgot (probably something like a game.) oh yeah, cranium. fun stuff.
Then went with cousins lisa&holly(16, 18?) and sister(12) and korean guyfriend of cousin (18-19ish, there to translate the korean stuff) to this korean karaoke place in koreatown in LA where they give you your own room with your friends and you do karaoke and most of the songs are korean but they have a lot of songs in english too. and it was fun. then we went to this other ice cream (kind of) place in koreatown and got this cool thing with strawberry ice cream and whipped cream and a bunch of strawberry ice at the bottom and something called mochi , and fruity pebbles too. and it was goood. Oh and for dinner before the karaoke place we went to in&out and me being vegetarian, ordered a grilled cheese only to learn it’s like a burger minus the meat. tomatoes, lettuce, some unidentified substance, THEN the cheese. And heard I’m in LA trick on the radio and it made me happy cause I realized they probably change it for everywhere they play it. cause our cool I’m in the bay trick stuff&whateverr. yeahh.
Then today I… (well, beginning the very end of last night I..) watched part of Barbie& the 12 dancing princesses on laptop until about midnight, (slept), watched city of ember, then went shopping at this huge westfield mall (SAME KIND AS VALLEY FAIR. though it wasn’t really similar or anything) and got jeans at nordstrom. fun stuff.
coming home tomorrow. happy/sad. Cousins are fun. :)
Still sick. Which isn’t fun. But I didn’t get out of bed until sometime after lunchtime and basically all I did was wrap one present and take a shower. Then starfire. Then I made cookies. Then I did more nothing.
Today was just so eventful.
According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created wtih four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two seperate parts, condeming them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.
So we’re learning seasons of love in starfire for another one of those programs in church called “when Christians don’t get it right” or something and it makes me happpy. :)
New favorite number.
How do you measure, measure a year?
Already did prettyy bad on bio final. Spanish, (health and) math finals tomorrow. Really worried for math now that I’m actually trying the review questions. And worried for whap on Friday. Stupid DBQ, stupid being all about memorization, stupid augmented matrices.
Why am I in honors math again?