some things

just a forewarning this isn’t the brightest or most optimistic of pages haha. 

• ..stuff about me that isn’t in my about.  
• i’m shy and insecure. 
• not a lot of people aren’t at least a little bit of either of those.
• I’m just not good at talking to people in general. just because I’m that shy I guess. not because of whoever it is at all. just because whenever I actually do get the courage to say something, it just ends up coming out wrong.
• I don’t even usually talk about this small part of myself in my blog posts or about section because I don’t want to bother people or feel whiny. 
• I wish I went to sleep earlier. Usually  I go to sleep around 12:30-1 ish. last night I went to sleep around (what I thought was) 11:30-ish but by the time I actually went to sleep it was like 1 I think.
• I really and truly like meeting and getting to know friendly people.
• I do have regrets.
• There’s a lot of stuff that runs through my mind that I just don’t tell other people at all. it would be too complicated. Even things that other people post on tumblr that I would reblog. I just don’t reblog them because I don’t want to express myself even like that for however many people follow me.
• I always wonder who I know in real life who checks up on my tumblr anyways even when they don’t have one or don’t follow me.
• there are people in real life who I do particularly wonder if they look at my blog.
• Most of the time that I don’t wear makeup (which is often), it’s just because I’m lazy and I’ve given up on the effort of it all. But I’m still insecure about my looks and not wearing makeup anyways even though I’m in control of it.
• I’m definitely insecure of my hair.
• and how I act around other people. being insecure in general is usually never just about looks. personality and behavior too. at least for me it’s a huge thing. always whenever I find myself acting different around different people.. yeah.
• one of the things i hate the most is people getting the first impression that I’m younger or something (which happens a lot) so they shouldn’t corrupt my mind or whatever, or just that I wouldn’t know about a lot of stuff, or that I’m not the right person to go to to tell about certain topics. like honestly, I’ll be truthful there’s a lot out there I haven’t experienced, but that never means it should be censored from me because it would make me sad or scarred for life or something. I’m not stupid. and I deserve to know. And I hate being left out of things. And I hate being alone. 
• ^that bolded right there is probably one of my main most important points of this page that I never seem to get out.
• but because this page is on my actual tumblr and it’s on a separate page in general, not a lot of people are going to see it anyways. so it’s still just me hiding my feelings and my own truths just because. 
• ugh. 
• I frustrate myself a lot. 
• I love love love friendly people. because I’m not usually that friendly to do the same as they would, so they’re basically my saviors in social situations. 
• so feel free to say hi in my ask box or whatever or anything. really.
• or in person. I mean if you already know who I am in person. and if the situation wouldn’t be totally creepy or weird. use good judgement. but if you’re nice and whatever. just say hi.
• I feel like I’m being whiny on this whole page. fun.
• I’m lonely sometimes. eh. it’s just not worth it [ever] to act desperate though. because all you get is desperate people in return. and they’re no help, not usually. so I’m just lonely and I just deal with it. except for when I’m with certain people who I”m comfortable with.
• I’m thankful for so much in my life. I know so many awesome people and I’ve been so many awesome places and experienced so many awesome things. so chances are that whoever you are, I probably love/am thankful for you in some weird way at least. because I’m a very positive person like that. 
• I hate moths/flying bugs that have the potential to fly into/onto/around your face while you’re just minding your own business or trying to sleep or something.
• I’m insecure about that a little bit because some people think it’s stupid. but it’s just me and how I feel about bugs. I just don’t like them.
• I’m just really shy okay. like if you’re nice to me and I only know you semi-well, odds are I’d be nicer and more open to you if I just wasn’t introverted. so just I would if I could. that’s me having excuses. just if there was ever a time when it was obvious I could have returned a compliment back to you or something or whatever or anything, that’s just it and that’s why. because I’m shy and insecure. 
• idk what else. what else am I missing. I don’t know. but there’s still so much more else to say. 
• if you really and honestly read this whole thing… brownie points to you. either I’m a whole lot more interesting than I thought I was or you’re a whole lot more interested than I thought you were or you’re a whole lot more bored than I thought you were or you’re a whole lot creepier than I thought you were. either one.
• oh and I love disney movies and sweet movies. watch them with me and I will love you.
• like if you’re a guy and you’re smart and it’s one of those situations-where-we-already-like-each-other-and-you-want-to-get-to-know-each-other-better-and-you’re-super-randomly-stumbling-across-this-page kind of things. edit: WAIT THAT’S NOT A GUARANTEE because I’ve learned when it comes to relationships, that’s where all of my big insecurities come out so I never really know what to do so if this situation actually happens at some point and someone who likes me is on this page, just be forewarned that I’m iffy. UHH THIS IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET I’M STOPPING THIS PART NOW
• idk I’m just really shy and insecure okay. 
• but I’m really nice when you talk to me more?
• i’m gonna stop talking now because this is way too long ok bye